Friday Night Drunkeness

Saturday morning I woke feeling like I was hit by a bus. I haven't had a night like that in a while.

After work on Friday I went over to CK's to share a bottle of wine I picked up on my way home. We sat in her living room looking at magazines, watching reality TV, and drinking. We were planning on going out to a bar in our neighborhood later. The BF came over after a while to pregame with us before heading out. CK still wasn't ready and I was still on the couch, so to get revved up we took a shot. That was the beginning.

I'm not a shot taker. I used to be, but I think my 23rd birthday ruined all that. I'll have to tell that story some time, it's another disgusting story about wasted Coconut.

Anyway, we eventually made our way to the bar. We've been going to a different bar in our neighborhood that I've recently discovered I really like. It's a dive with 70s decor and really good music. They play the stuff that everyone know. It's a fun time.

When we got there CK recognized a guy at a table close to us as the boyfriend of one of her co-workers. He was making out with some really gross girl, who was not CK's co-worker. We texted the co-worker a few times, eventually telling her what he was doing. Meanwhile, we're getting progressively more drunk on vodka and tonics.

Steph and her boyfriend Jack showed up about an hour after we got there. We had such a blast! I love going to dive bars and dancing to old songs that everyone knows the words to. I haven't danced and gotten wasted and had a simple, genuinely fun night out with my favorite people in forever. It's the most fun I've had in a while.

The cheating douche bag was leaving with the gross girl he was making out with and CK wanted to say something to him. She was on the other side of the table so she told me to go after him. I got through the crowd and had a hand on his shoulder right before he reached the door.

"Is your name [cheating douche bag]?"

"Yeah!"

"I work with [co-worker]!"

"[Co-worker, co-worker]...?"

"Yep!"

At that point CK was caught up with us. She said:

"I saw you making out with that other girl."

"Oh, [co-worker] and I aren't dating!"

"Ok, that's fine. But I told her I saw you, so I hope that's what she thinks."

We walked away after that. CK called her co-worker to tell her what happened. When I got back to the table the BF and Jack were talking about fantasy football and Steph was dancing up a storm. I started dancing with Steph and the BF must've been pretty drunk because he started dancing, too. (He's not into dancing, but if I rub my butt on him and get a few drinks in him, he'll join in.)

CK finally got back from her phone call and started dancing with us. A little while later I look over and the BF is passing out at the table. I tell him we can go, but he says, "No, we won't leave until you want to." So, I ask him what we should do to perk him up. I suggest taking a shot (I had to be drunk) and he excitedly says yes! (He must've been drunk, too. He doesn't like shots either.) We took a lemon-drop shot and he forgot to bite the lemon! I look over and he has this terrible look on his face, so I shoved the lemon in his mouth. We started cracking up and arguing about the use of the lemon.

We got back to the table and danced some more, but the shot didn't really help to wake him up. I was starving and everyone else felt like leaving, so it was time to go. We stumbled down the street to a hot dog place, bought a couple of dogs, and then proceeded to stumble, weave, and bump into each other the rest of the way home. The last thing I remember is laying down, getting the spins, and putting my palm to the wall to make the room stop spinning before I fell asleep.

I need more nights like that.

rAndomNESs

*I saw the hugest beaver yesterday evening! No, not that kind you sick fucks. It was in a bunch of weeds by the path I walk Bellies on. I knew there was something living in there because I heard it rustling around. Yesterday I actually saw it. The fucker was HUGE!


*I'm thinking about going full-on blond. I need something new in the hair department. I've had the same thing for about a year and it's getting old. I used to have the side-swept swoopy bangs, but I don't feel like going back to that. I thought about going darker for the winter, too, but I feel like that would make me feel really pale and ugly. Here's what I've got now:

This is along the lines of what I'm thinking:

Thoughts, feelings?



*I don't know if I've mentioned it, but I'm a bit accident prone. You may remember the time I fell off the banquette at Tao in Vegas. Well, last night the BF and I were done walking the dogs and were on our way back up to his apartment. I got in the elevator feeling fine, and when I stepped out I couldn't walk! It felt like someone had twisted the muscles above my left knee, leaving me to hobble like a geriatric for the rest of the night. I was still hobbling all day to day, much to Assistant's amusement. I blame the elevator. I believe there was an invisible force field in there that twisted my knee.



*Still haven't made the poster to call out the Old Man. I will definitely let you know the reaction when it is up.



Hope everyone is having a fabulous week!

She Wants Revenge

Wow, I probably don't even have time to be writing this right now. So many things have happened lately, but I'll just stick with the most current.

There is a shirtless, bald, old man that lives in the apartment across the alley from the BF. He walks around half naked, and his computer faces the window. We don't have air conditioning in our apartments, so we keep the windows wide open for the breeze, and for the view. The fact that both the BF and I, and the Old Man, like to have our windows wide opens means we see each other a lot.

I've alluded to the fact that I enjoy nakedness. I'm usually not wearing anything more than panties and a bra when I'm hanging around the BF's apartment. So, maybe the Old Man sees me. The BF is usually naked, too. And sometimes we act out a porn on the couch...

Haha, oops. I meant to say, sometimes we start making out on the couch and things get carried away before we make it to the bed.

Basically, the Old Man has probably seen me naked almost as much as the BF. BUT! It's not like I'm standing in the window like that, and usually I'm sitting on the couch where he really can't see me. And I'm sure he's seen a naked chick before. All in all, it's never really bothered me that much.

A few months ago I walked into the living room in my panties and the Old Man had binoculars out! I gasped, covered my breasts with my hands, and said, "The old guy has binoculars out!" while quickly slumping down on the couch.

Ok, the fact that we both have our windows wide open and we all like to walk around mostly naked is one thing. But binoculars? Now that's taking it into peeping territory! Besides that, it's probably not really necessary!

A few weeks ago the BF and I were talking to our landlord and she mentioned something about the Old Man. Apparently there are some girls on the floors above us who have complained about him looking in their windows. We live a floor below him, so we can only see him from the waist up, but the other girls said he walks around in boxers with a boner. The landlord talked to the management next door and the police and they said they couldn't do anything because he is in his own apartment. That sounds like a load of bullshit to me, but whatever.

Friday night I came home from a party where there was a lot of drama (maybe more on that later.) I was in an extremely shitty mood and I was all riled up. Both the dogs were in the BF's apartment and he was gone for the weekend, so I decided to sleep up there instead of taking them down to my place. As I'm getting ready for bed, I take off my dress and swim suit (it was a lake party) and start getting ready for bed. I look up, and the Old Man has out the binoculars! Ok it's like midnight and I'm already pissed off, so I shout "FUCK YOU!" and give him the middle finger. He puts down the binoculars and waves at me! Now he's blatantly peeping! He has absolutely no shame!

I texted the whole story to the BF. He was pissed. rightfully so.

I grabbed one of the BF's t-shirts to continue getting ready for bed in, and flicked the Old Man off every time I walked into the living room.

The BF and I have decided to take matters into our own hands. We are still going to talk to the management in the other building about it, but we figure they haven't done anything about it so far.

The Bf came up with a great plan: We are going to make a giant poster that says something along the lines of, "Hey hairy Old Man in apartment ___. Stop looking in my window with binoculars and watching my girlfriend dress." That way, the whole side of the building he lives in will see it! It will totally call him out and he will be embarrassed. All of his neighbors will know what he's been up to.

I will keep you posted about what happens. I might be a little evil, but I can't wait!

I Will Blog Again One Day!

I'm so super busy, you guys! I'm trying to get caught up on work, life, and all of your blogs. Time has not permitted me to blog lately, but I definitely have plenty of stories to tell. Things are going pretty good, but I will most likely be swamped until they either give me a new boss, or another assistant. I;m going to NYC again next month and trying to figure out the fashion show. Add that to doing two jobs. I miss you all!